today has been so hard to do...
yesterday, while I was out here cleaning another area...
Bebe was with me, sitting beside me...
and I was thinking that when he passed, that I didn't want him where we have buried the others...
that I wanted him closer to me...
that this was the most tranquil places in the yard...
and that this would be a good place to lay him down...
and when I started thinning areas out, that I would keep that in mind, for I knew it was coming...
I had no idea that this little angel or the jar light that I made not that long ago was in preparation for this day...
that they would mark his resting place...
and the lily of the valley will spread and close in this whole area...
I want to thank God for letting me be his mommy for awhile...
he was with me when I was so sick and couldn't even get out of bed...
and he was there on good days, too...
I am having a hard time with him not being beside me every minute of the day...
not having to step over him, reach down and scratch his head...
I have been restless all day, not being able to stay anywhere for very long...
it took that 3rd walk today before the tears stopped flowing...
I haven't made a move in almost 10 years now without him...
forever checking where he was, that we hadn't left him behind...
I am just lost...
and I am not sure how long this is going to last...
for I have never had an animal like Bebe before...
cats are so independent...
and they don't cling to you all the time...
not like a dog does...
not like an old dog does...
he had to be in the same room I was in...
or he panicked...
and I had to be in sight outside, or he would come looking for me...
I am not looking to have another...
but I don't know what God's plans are...
I wasn't looking for one when Bebe came to me...
I have learned never to say never, but I so can't see it...
he was just so awesome and so what I needed...
DH did not do so well, today, either...
I am glad he stayed home with me...
;)
I may not be posting for a bit...
until I can figure out my new normal...
our neighbors all cried with us today...
he was so loved by everyone...
but the ones that broke our hearts where the kids next door...
they both cried...
we told their mom and let her tell them...
thank you for all your words, your prayers...
they all mean so much...
be well and know that you are all in my prayers until I come back...
;)
My heart aches for you and Bebe. That is a tough loss. I had a little dog Casey who stuck by me thru thick and thin, in sickness and in health! I miss him so much. You have choosen a beautiful place for his resting place. He is at peace now romping about at the Rainbow Bridge. God bless you sweet friend. Take care. Hugs, Anne
ReplyDeleteI know how hard this is for you, I remember our loss of Punky, and after 15 years of his constant love, he was no longer right next to me at almost every step.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, never say never, there will come a time when God will place one right at your feet, and it will need you just as much, to be his or her mom. My daughter in law lost her Webbie, after 18 years, and Marley showed up in her yard, after she had time to heal, and now she is madly in love, Marley didn't 'take Webbie's place in her heart, her heart just expanded a bit.
Tete, I wish there was a way I could help. I will hold you in my prayers. I know that loss of a beloved pet. Blessings dear friend, xoxo,Susie
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful that you had such a precious Bebe, makes it harder. You know I understand.
ReplyDeleteoh sigh... the second post i have read, by a blogger, who has lost a beloved pet. -sigh-
ReplyDeleteno words help. anyone who has lost a pet, knows that. just saying, please keep the wonderful memories, in your heart.
gentle hugs,
tessa~
Tete, today I will lift you up high in prayer that your sorrow will turn to joy as soon as you are able. Our animal friends are little angels that love us unconditionally thru good times and bad. I am so happy for you to have been blessed with Bebe for many years. I wish it could have been more years but our time on this earth comes is so short. Go ahead and cry, I am crying with you, hoping that these tears turn to smiles and wonderful memories. May God bless you and your family...
ReplyDeleteHow precious. ((hugs)) I lost a beloved furry friend not so long ago. I've never forgotten her and will always yearn to see her.
ReplyDelete((hugs)) You are in my prayers. This is a beautiful to celebrate your little friend's life.
I'm so sorry Tete that you are having to deal with such a terrible loss. Bebe was such a sweet boy and such a huge part of your life. It's so, so hard when suddenly they aren't right next to you. I feel your loss, I am keeping you in my prayers. Let the tears fall, and just give yourself alot of time. Big hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Tete, sending you a hug, take care xo
ReplyDeleteaww this post really made me cry! Just before (2 hrs ago) I honestly told my husband that I couldn`t live without my Pippin! He gives me so so much! He is ALWAYS with me! He is my companion! If I leave the room he will follow, even if I m going for a bath... And he will only go for walks if I take him! We adore each other so much! I hope your pain and sorrow will diminish as days go by... Thinking of you! And please do try to keep strong, even when I`m sure that it must be very hard!
ReplyDeleteHugs all the way from England